Should we give them the movie gift card as gave us for our wedding?
As our wedding gift, they gave us a $20 movie gift card. This is from a group of 3 adults. I think it’s so inconsiderate of them since we paid $35 per head for dinner. On the other hand, I should be a bigger person by giving them a better gift. What do you think???
January 26th, 2010 at 8:26 pm
This happened to me as well. A friend of mine and her fiance gave us $20.00 for our wedding. I was standing up in her wedding and did give them an appropriate gift. I don’t know if they couldn’t afford more of a gift, but since they are friends I look at it as I would spend $70.00 (at least) if I took them out to dinner and I just wrote it off as not a big deal. I feel that with friends it all works out in the end.
January 26th, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Nope, give ‘em the movie card gift…they can’t complain about how cheap it is ’cause they’d be complaining about how cheap they were…lol I like your way of thinking…..wouldn’t be so bad but outta three adults they could only come up with a 20 dollar gift card? wow……….
I would be so embarassed to give such a gift…and I did live thru some very tight times before I re-married…I set aside a little at a time so I could get a nice but modest gift…after all you do have some warning before the wedding is taking place….besides a gift should have some thought behind it..anyone can take a few seconds and get a movie card…..they could have given you something like a pretty picture frame or an album to put your honeymoon photos in…..a pair of champagne flutes for your first anniversary……..
January 26th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Yes, I think it was very inconsiderate! They could have bought you something very nice from 3 adults. Unless they are all desperatley in need of money, they could have each contributed 20 dollars. I believe you should be the bigger person. Don’t let it affect your friendahip with these people- they might not know they were in the wrong. Appreciate the gift card. Good luck!
January 26th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Maybe they thought you would enjoy the movie-thing but $20 does seem quite stingy.
If I were you, I’d give them something nicer than they got you. Don’t go for a gift-card, but maybe something $40-50 in value. Don’t give cash. Buy them something. Do your best to remove price tag & not get a gift receipt so if they don’t like it they have no clue where to take it back to -LOL.
January 26th, 2010 at 9:51 pm
That’s horrible and very cheap. Go down to the bargain ship and get them a cheap photo frame. They won’t know how much it was and you’ve still got back at them in a sense without being nasty. Who gives movie vouchers as a wedding gift anyway? You’re right to be annoyed. I suppose you could always wrap an empty box and tell them it’s air. hee hee.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
I still want to know who started the idea that guests should give a gift that equals the price of the dinner.
Then I would smack them over the head!
That out of the way, it is possible that all three agreed to purchase a gift together and only one came through. My sister, brother and I agreed to get flowers for a family member and I ordered them. I did without for a while since they did not reimburse me. Learned my lesson.
Don’t let what happened to change who you are. Do what is best.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:37 pm
How long ago was your wedding? It was was in the last year or two, I’d give them dollar for dollar what they gave you – minus the $6.66 from the third adult. I’ve learned the hard way that some people just don’t appreciate your generosity – so I wouldn’t waste your money on someone who isn’t going to be appreciative.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:44 pm
What you pay per person has NOTHING to do with the amount of money the gift is worth. It’s not a trade! People give what they can. So, now that that’s out of the way. That seems to be a “cheap” gift from 3 adults. If you know they could afford better, get them a cheap gift. If that would make you feel bad, though, get something nicer. I would just spend around $40/$50- nothing over the top.
January 26th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
1. You decided on a wedding that cost $35 a head. How much you paid per person has NOTHING to do with how much somebody should give you for a gift. If guests are supposed to “match the plate” then you should give them options on how much the plate costs
2. You don’t know their financial situation at the time. Maybe that was all the extra cash they had. Were they in the bridal party or did they help you out in some other way? Since when is giving a gift inconsiderate?
3. Giving them twenty bucks in return is only going to highlight how petty and materialistic you are being. You aren’t giving them more because you are really the bigger person, you just want to say you are. If you were truly the bigger person it wouldn’t have crossed your mind.
January 27th, 2010 at 12:00 am
Do as you please, but keep in mind that perhaps they gave what they could afford and perhaps they thought you’d enjoy an evening out. It’s not their fault you wanted such an expensive dinner for your reception. If you are complaining about how much you paid per head for your reception, maybe you overspent and should take a lesson from your friends and learn to live within a budget. By expecting a gift that matches the price per head for your reception, you are expecting your guests to pay for your choices. A good rule of thumb is to invite whomever you want, serve whatever you can afford, and accept the gifts given with a good attitude. No matter what wedding planners and reality shows try to tell you being a bride is no excuse for acting like a thug. Oh and by the way, there is no way you can be a bigger person, because by complaining and doing so publicly you’ve already shown what a small person you are.
January 27th, 2010 at 2:51 am
I would RSVP & not go! The ultimate payback! lol!
Nah, I’d be the better person…I think if you are you’d make them feel even lower.
January 27th, 2010 at 3:29 am
if you are so concerned about something so petty perhaps you should decline the invitation……after all you can’t be very good friends if that was all you were worth to them and they can’t be very good friends when you are on here complaining about them!
January 27th, 2010 at 4:18 am
It is extremely cheap of them, but now you know. This is certainly a reflection of how they feel about you and who they are, I mean seriously, they think $6.66 per person is a good wedding gift.
Keep the gift card, send a thank you note to each of them, but now you know. Tells you quite a bit about the three of them.
Ok…I’m not sure I understood the question the first time around. So, now they are getting married and you want to know what to get them? I would get them something comparable….a $20 gift card to wherever. Yes, I’d give them a GC of the exact same value so they know that you remember them doing that and now they know how it feels. Really, if they really think that’s an acceptable gift, why should they expect any more?
January 27th, 2010 at 4:45 am
It may have been all they could afford…
I would give them a $20 dollar gift card for somewhere else
Not exactly the same movie gift card but to the same value.
I am getting married in April and its not about the gifts…. its about us showing the people closest to us how much we love each other.
January 27th, 2010 at 5:15 am
Buy them a cheap gift ($20) where you can’t tell how much you really paid for it. You can get some nice wine glasses or homewares for that much.
It makes you look like a bigger person than those cheapscates, but you are just giving them back what they deserve.
January 27th, 2010 at 5:32 am
If you do that you are no better than they are.
Give them the gift you would have given them had THEY been the ones to get married first.
If you are really harboring this much resentment though, perhaps you should decline and re-evaluate your friendship.
You should never send a wedding invitation expecting a gift, let alone expecting a gift that will “cover” their plate.
January 27th, 2010 at 6:32 am
The price per head means nothing! Use it for a date with you and your new hubby.
I’m sorry but your ungreatful!
People purchase what they can afford, would you honestly have rather gotten nothing at all..
My man and I Never have money to go to the movies, you want to send me the card? LOL
January 27th, 2010 at 6:44 am
You’re ridiculous. You chose to have a dinner that was $35 per head. Why should they have to pay for it with a gift? Yes, it’s pretty messed up that 3 grown people gave you a $20 gift card, but that says a lot of what they think of you, which isn’t much. I would reevaluate the friendship and decide whether or not to even attend the wedding.
January 27th, 2010 at 7:04 am
give them mcdonalds gift card with a note “to be used on your first anniversary”…cheapskates
January 27th, 2010 at 8:05 am
Are they broke? Are you broke? What you spent per head is not relevant to what they gave you, I seriously doubt they know or care how much you spent on dinner. I’ve been invited to $200+ per person weddings and I assure you, I did not give $400 gifts. I think you’re getting a little too wrapped up in your wedding and should do this other couple a favor and not attend theirs. That way you won’t have to get a gift at all.